It's Ok, We Bounce

March 26, 2020


"May you live in interesting times."


You've heard that saying before, right?


There's no doubt that we've all been shaken by what's going on in the world right now. 


As an Empath, it can be particularly challenging because you're also tuning into global and local suffering as well as your own. 


Disengaging from the suffering of others can be very difficult for an Empath. It feels like a heartbreaking failure if you're not able to help. Yet, if you don't pull back, then the person suffering most is you. 


One of my favorite things about humanity is that we're resilient. All you have to do is look at babies and children to remember that! No matter what life and nature throws at us, we always find a way to survive. We're hardy like that. 


When uncertain times strike, our brains are programmed to look for the negative or worst-case scenario. This is called Negativity Bias. Our brains will hone into the most negative part of any situation as a survival skill. If we understand the negative, then we can prepare (that's survival logic). In fact, there are studies that show you may have to replace a single negative thought with 5-10 positive ones to offset the mental anguish of negativity. 


Our survival brain will launch into one of 3 modes when it encounters trouble: fight, flight, or freeze.  Here's what the 3 phases may look like (both positive and negative) right now. 


1. Fight

Anger, frustration, using alcohol or drugs, negative social media posting, going against advised social distancing recommendations, physical, mental or emotional abusing and manipulating others. Positives include taking your business online, engaging your entrepreneurial spirit, adapting with grace, helping support others financially in your community, and encouraging others to stay positive. 


2. Flight

Avoiding all news and social media, isolating to extremes, avoiding any contact with others (ex. phone calls, texts), having physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, nausea, physical pain, extreme anxiety, avoiding necessary chores or duties. 


3. Freeze

Depression, feeling stuck, anxious because you don't know what to do, fearing the worst, crying, excessive napping or sleeping, emotional eating, lack of motivation, waiting for clarity before making choices, wanting someone else to tell you what to do. 


Over the last 2 weeks, the Coronavirus was declared a global pandemic, the news is blasting doom and gloom, the stock market is up and down, and we've been advised or ordered to shelter in place. That's quite a lot! It's understandable if we're a little off our game right now. Things are changing, and it can be difficult to adjust to a new normal.


On September 11th, 2002, I was living in Alaska during the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York. During that time, the stock markets fell, stores closed, air traffic was grounded for 3 days, and the world was in shock. However, because we're resilient, we adjusted and perservered. In fact, we saw a resurgence in patriotism, community, and togetherness. We accepted that we were in a new normal during that time and made adjustments that are still in place today. 


What's taking place in the world in terms of our health and the economy has yet to completely unfold. Changes are scary precisely because it puts us in new territory and our survival brain is screaming that we're not safe. It wants us to keep focusing on the negative and downplays any potential positive benefits that change could bring about. 


For example, families are playing games and eating dinner together again, people are building gardens in their backyards, checking in on elderly neighbors and others in the community. Business owners and employees are discovering new ways to reach their clients and deliver products and services. We're becoming more creative because we're resilient! 


It's natural to feel overwhelmed and emotionally unstable during times of change like these. I know that you're an amazingly resilient person who is capable of handling a lot. However, if you need extra support during this time, then please know that I'm here for you and I can help. I'm continuing to see clients by video conferencing and trying to limit in-office appointments to maintain social distancing and flatten the curve. 


I've also created a free resource for Empaths on how to deal with troubling times. You can find it here:


I believe that together, we can get through anything!




Dr. April Darley is an expert at resolving stuck patterns of behavior through Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.). By identifying self-sabotaging behaviors, she can help you regain confidence, improve relationships, remove blocks to health, wealth and success in any area of your life




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