Whenever I speak to someone who hasn't been in a relationship for a long time, there's a common pattern that emerges. They may not remember how to receive love from another person. They're used to being independent, having their own routine, and not involving others in their decisions. If your past relationships were dysfunctional, then you may not know how to be loved in a healthy way. So, in honor of Valentine's Day, I wanted to talk about how to prepare yourself for receiving love, and how to invite love into your life.
1) Make space for another person!
Do you remember Marie Kondo and her decluttering technique? If your walk-in closet is packed and you can barely park your car in the garage, do you really have room for someone else in your home? Is it so messy that you don't entertain? Numerous scientific studies have documented the mental/emotional effect of a cluttered space. Cleaning your space helps boost your mood, relieve depression, and increase creativity and productivity.
But, there's one area that isn't talked about as much. Cleaning your home is making energetic room for you to bring someone into your life! You've probably heard the expression "Nature abhors a vacuum". When you make space in your home for a new love, you give it permission to appear. You can also combine this decluttering with manifestation techniques. Imagine the new space you've cleared being filled with the possessions of a partner.
2) Get clear on the kind of partner you REALLY want.
This is going to require you to be really honest with yourself and examine the kinds of relationships you've had in the past. What kind of partner would be the best match for you? What traits do you want in a partner? Have your past relationships been to please others or meet their expectations? Did they leave you feeling unhappy?
One tool I like to recommend to my clients is THE LIST. It's my ultimate partner manifestation tool!
To begin, take a piece of paper and make 3 columns. The first column is what you "MUST HAVE" in your relationship. Whatever traits, behaviors, or attributes that your partner must have should be included in this column. Examples include being romantic, great with dogs, patient etc.
The next column is "NICE TO HAVE". Place anything in this column that isn't essential, but would be the cherry on top of a great relationship. Examples are brown hair, good with computers, etc.
The final column is "DEAL BREAKERS". In this column, list anything that would absolutely make you end a relationship without question. Examples are abuse, smoking, drug use etc.
Now that you have your list, pay attention to it!!! If a potential suitor has something on your DEAL BREAKER list, then don't continue! View this column as a red flag and just walk away. One of the biggest mistakes that people make in relationships is compromising and thinking they can change someone else's behavior. If you're clear about what you WANT, then what you don't want becomes even more apparent. Don't settle for what you don't want just because you're single! You deserve a quality relationship. So, manifest it with clear intention.
3) Let yourself RECEIVE love.
Quite often, women (especially Empaths) tend to nurture others and put themselves last. However, think about the message this is energetically sending out to the universe. It's saying "What I want isn't as important as others". It's also saying that you prefer to give and may even block receiving! Great relationships are balanced in their giving and receiving energy. When you constantly give, are you getting what you need? If you don't, this leads to eventual exhaustion and frustration. Receiving is NOT selfish! It's absolutely necessary, and you deserve to receive the same kind of love and care that you freely give to others. Let yourself have it!
4) Make sure to love yourself!
In order for you to freely give and receive love with another, it's important to make sure that you're loving yourself. By doing this, a relationship complements you and isn't intended to "complete" you. In order to attract a balanced relationship, work on feeling complete and enough within yourself. Do something that empowers your mind, body, and spirit. This could mean attending to any health concerns, increasing your physical fitness, letting go of any emotional pain and baggage from past relationships, and increasing your sense of identity and spirituality. Take yourself on dates and do something that brings joy into your life. Joy is a high vibration, and it's attractive to others as well.
It's one of my greatest joys to empower people and help them clear out any obstacles to attaining the life and love they want. If you feel you've been in unhealthy relationships in the past, suffering from low self-esteem, and need to release relationship trauma in order to move forward, then Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.) can help you get to a place where you're able to receive love in a healthy way.
Dr. April Darley is an expert at resolving stuck patterns of behavior through Neuro-Emotional Technique (N.E.T.). By identifying self-sabotaging behaviors, she can help you regain confidence, improve relationships, remove blocks to health, wealth and success in any area of your life.